How Would You Like Me to Listen

November 17, 2008

I like Martha Beck’s article in Oprah’s Spirit Newsletter online. Beck is a life coach and regular contributor to the newsletter. This particular column addresses the helpful person in all of us and gives us several choices when dealing with someone who is asking for help but is resistant to our suggestions. 

She writes: “One of my personal mottoes is “Love it, leave it, or lead it.” When faced with a problem, I allow myself these three options—and only these three. “Love it” means peacefully accept whatever’s happening. If that’s not possible, I may be able to “leave it,” simply walk away from the whole dilemma. The third option, “lead it,” requires that I recognize and use whatever power I have (even if I feel helpless). If I can’t devise a solution on my own, I must “lead” my helpers by asking clear, purposeful questions and taking good advice when I get it. I’ve found that the “three Ls” are invaluable when you find yourself trading volleys with someone who doesn’t want to change. ”

She goes on to give concrete examples of situations and possible outcomes using these three options. Most important she takes this into the arena of self-talk and self-sabotage. Have you ever noticed yourself doing this same thing while speaking with someone else or even battling it out amongst your “selves”? Use those 3 “L’s”!! Click here to read.

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